Cinema PSYOPS

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10 years.

Man 10.

10 years.

10 years Man

10 years.

10 years.

10. 10 years.

10 years.

What is the most likely way humanity will be wiped out? Maybe it's something from

or us. Although the way the world ends might be because

of you. And if this is the case, you wouldn't have any control

over it. The global temperature rise underscores a chilling

reality. Our planet is trying to tell us something, but we don't

seem to be listening. A recent study has suggested that one third of annual

deaths due to heat are directly related to global warming.

On top of the initial flash of thermonuclear light,

which is 180 million degrees, which catches every everything on fire

in a nine mile diameter radius. On top of the bulldozing

effect of the wind, all the buildings coming down, and more fires

igniting more fires on top of the radiation if they happen to have survived

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or more square miles.

Timelines across the entire continuum are collapsing

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Cinema Psyops. A breathtaking scientific revolution

is taking place. Biotechnology has been progressing

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also creating viruses more dangerous than nuclear bombs,

able to devastate humanity. It's man returning

to the most primal, violent state as

people fight over the tiny resources that

remain. What if the world we live in. Is just a dream or a simulation?

Whether it's a dream or some advanced computer game you are playing right

now, when it ends, you would be what causes the end of the world.

Please do us all a favor. Continue dreaming or playing this game of

life. Because when you wake up or unplug, there's a chance the

rest of us will be blaked out of existence. Timelines across the entire

continuum are collapsing and changing. The destruction has a

nexus that centers on Cinema. S 10

years. 10 years.

Hello and welcome

to the 482nd

consecutive week of Cinema Psyops. I'm your host,

Cort, the guy that is really stoked to talk about the pic

from my co host Matt this week. Yeah. Idle Hands.

I kind of wish I could have done this movie. Yeah.

So a little, kind of behind the scenes,

there was a little event that would happen at Matt's

home and I was over there to be part of the celebration,

which is a very rare thing. And we were talking

and chit chatting and everything like that. And you actually brought up, why didn't I

choose Blazing Saddles for myself and why did I pick Idle Hands?

And I was like, horror comedy. And you were nervous that I wasn't gonna

take care of Idle Hands. Well, no. How about this? I was never nervous.

You weren't gonna take care of it. I was more nervous because I didn't think

you liked it. Yeah. If that were the case,

then over these two, I probably would have picked Blazing Saddles. But my thing was

like, I'm not dealing with all that racism in my notes. I don't want that.

I was like, that's why I let. All the clips do the talking. It's like,

I'd much rather fucking just do Idle Hands. That's my. The reason I

made the choice. And yes. And by the way, the event at my house was.

Everyone wants to know. I know this part. I'll let up my. Just to let

everyone know how old I'm getting. My son turned 21 years old.

So that was his 21st birthday party that he was at for all of

five minutes. It was nice. Yeah. He talked

with people. That was nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The real party for him was

hanging out with his friends. It wasn't anything to do with the people that showed

up. We really just had people over just to hang out with us.

But also it was because they wanted to at least say happy Birthday. That's why

I was there. Yeah. Yes. That explains to everyone why I was

actually there. I was there for his son's birthday.

That's about it. But I understand your apprehension

thinking that I didn't like this movie because it's more comedy than

horror. But I have always viewed it as that. This is a comedy

movie with horror elements in it. This is not a horror comedy.

No, this is not a horror movie. This is. Yes, it's a comedy

that has a few elements of horror in it. Yes.

And it is parodying a lot of different types of horror films,

100%. And while this came

out and I wasn't really as big on it as other people may have been,

just because it is primarily a comedy with some horror elements in

it, doesn't mean that I dislike it. You know, this is. This is like a

more of a so I Married an Axe murderer kind of a film where.

Again, exactly. Comedy with. It's a little gory. It's gorier.

It has fun with the gore. Right. And as far as

it being gory is really a low level of gore for

someone of my. Yeah, not to you, but to anybody maybe,

who just thinks they're gonna watch a comedy that has a little bit of horror

in it. It is gory to them, but it's played for laughs.

The gore is there. It's splat stick is what you're getting at,

which is Sam Raimi. And as a matter of fact, this is

primarily a knockoff of Sam Raimi jokes turned into

a comedy. Like, that's the only negative thing that I would say about it is

like, it borrows very heavily from Evil Dead style. Come.

Or its hilarity. Particularly the comedy in Evil Dead 2

with all the possessed handshit. Yes, that's true.

And I'd almost put it almost kind of like a

Shaun of the Dead. Maybe Shaun of the Dead's little more horror than comedy,

but it's kind of like that. Yeah, yeah. It has that feel to it as

well. As far as various other films that try to mix horror and

comedy together, this is far more superior and far better

at what it does for mixing the comedy horror elements than

some contemporary films that try to do something similar in this timeframe.

Agreed. So I'm just. Have we covered

that enough now? Yes, I'm just. What I'm getting at is there's plenty of

things to like about that. So once we start covering it and I

start savaging things, just know that I do actually enjoy the film.

There you go. All right, so on the pirate radio edit

up first, we're going to have featured in the soundtrack to Idle

the Vandals with My Girlfriend's Dead immediately following this.

This will keep you quiet. Oh, you have reached the voicemail

box of Matt.

About a real prank. I just wanted to call. Leave your

voicemail, man, and let you know you're going to do a gun bastard. And if

I see him, I'm going to shake it right in a nutshack. If there's cort

do, we're just going. To do a podcast with Tony and we'll

skip to the future without you hand in hand

with. Come on, Tony, stay away from Channel

H. I just want to call,

apologize. I know I can do the

same now.

Hi, man. This is Counselor Dan. Oh. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I was thinking such

crash course for

me last night. Who was? Even Tony. I don't know what the hell I'm talking

about. Being so confusing. Intended in the world.

Everything has gone so well. I'm apologizing.

I don't want to blame him, but he.

I got to admit, the Vandals is one of my favorite punk bands. I love

their wicked, twisted sense of humor. Particularly this song,

My Girlfriend's Day. Yeah, it is good.

And it's. I don't even. I don't even know it. I'm like, yeah, all right,

this is decent. This is fucking funny. Yeah.

And it is actually quite, quite apt for the film Idle Hands.

It's that same style of humor. So let's get into the actual film. This is

broken into thirds. So the first third of Idle Hands. The film

opens on a typical 90s teen scream credit

sequence set to an industrial score as it finally starts moving

in on a house in a Steadicam John Carpenter style,

while something finds its way inside of the house and then finds its way towards

its inhabitants in our first clip. Did you blow the candles out

downstairs? Uh,

yeah. Look at this. A Thanksgiving

cornucopia made out of pie plates and spackle. What the heck is a

cornucopia? It's like a horn of plenty. Oh, dear.

Can it wait? We just finished decorating for Halloween.

You? Well, no.

Good luck. Just a

prank, that's all. Anton. Anton. A little

scooter would never do something like that. We're calling

him that baby name. Anton would not. Not scooters behind off the couch if the

house was on fire. God knows he didn't help me with the Halloween decorations.

Did you? I heard something downstairs. The dog's out in the yard.

It's probably just a cat. The mom

screams because the words I am under the bed were written on their ceiling

during that clip. And then at the end of the clip, Fred Willard scoots

his ass out of the room and the camera stays with the mom as she

is the victim of a cheesy cat scare and then decides to

calm her nerves by knitting with some really big fucking

needles. I mean, that kind of happens where she starts knitting, the cat scares her,

and then she continues knitting. But really, do we really need to write that

down? I could have just said it like I just did there. Yeah,

might just. Did we just get to your inner. Monologue a little bit?

Yeah. Good job. We hear her husband get murdered

as she takes the cat with her to check on what happened? She first

checks on her son's whereabouts and then back downstairs to check on what happened

with her husband. She finds that the candles are still burning and blows them

out. Then slips on the floor, grabs a flashlight, notices she

is covered in blood and screams. She runs back upstairs.

While looking to warn her son and save him. She's screaming his

name at the top of her lungs as she tries to then make a call

for the police. The phone is snatched out of her hand to the floor and

then when she reaches for it, she is dragged under the bed while squishy

noises are made and blood flies everywhere. Some folks would consider that

gory. I would just say a little blood flies everywhere.

Well, still then he grabbed the cat too.

The film cuts from this to Anton, the laziest slacker

of all time, being woken up by the hungry cat and not noticing anything

wrong in his house. Being a completely selfish little shit that he

is, he makes himself some food and sits his ass down in front of the

tv. After firing up an insane amount of incense sticks

to scratch his nuts and then his neck with a back scratcher, he then fires

up the TV and he attempts to fire up a bull. In our

second murder in Bolin, a special report.

Four bodies have been discovered to date and the killer is still at.

Bolin has been gripped with fear as the killings have spread from a local postal

route to the bowling alley and now to our own Burger Jungle.

With Halloween only one day away, Bolin officials have

set a 9pm curfew for all teenagers.

Where's your key test and alert eyes? We'll find that

girl.

Yeah. Hey, what's up, man? What's up with you? I'm dry. So?

So why don't you bring me over a dimer? This ain't Domino's, you lazy bitch.

Come over here and get it. Come on, man. I'm comfortable. Comfortable.

Hello.

Sup, Anton?

Nice outfit.

Yeah, if your mom had teeth, she wouldn't suck dick so well.

What's your point? Sup, Anton?

How's it going, brother? Nice boxers.

Massachronic. Oh, I'm sorry, man. This bong's cash,

so I came all the way over here. You said you was holding. I didn't

say what I was holding.

That's messed up, man. I hear if you combine nutmeg and

oregano, you can get pretty wasted. Anton, all you do is smoke pot and watch

TV all day. Don't get me wrong. That's what life is all about. But don't

you think you should have some ambition Like a goal. I mean, my dream life

would be to lie around all day in bed and watch TV while some

hot bride delivers me food and shit. Yeah, until your parents kick your oily ass

out. I haven't seen my parents in a couple days.

Maybe they're dead. Party at Anton's. What are you doing? I'm just saying, with the

killer on the loose, you can't rule out murder. What killer? Don't you watch the

news? I hate that fucking show. Oh, man, our little town is in

the national spotlight. Local mailman, iced. Barmaid at the bowling alley,

iced. And don't tell me you haven't heard about the Feldstein twin. What? They got

caught jerking off in the milkshake maker again? Iced times, too. Last night

when they were working the drive thru at the Burger Jungle. Damn,

Anton, here comes your woman.

He's got serious problems.

Molly's lived across the street from you for, like, what ever.

Why don't you go tell her about your disturbing obsession with her? You could start

by telling her your name. Yeah, man, she's waiting for you. No, and she's not

waiting for me. Would you stop being such a puss and go, like, ask her

the day? Well, if you've been to school in the last six months, you'd know

about it. Halloween thing in the gym, 9:00, curfew. No trick or treating allowed,

dumbass. Dance is the only option. You guys going? Hell no. Can you

see us dressing up in some stupid ass costumes? Grooving to Hansen and

Jewel? What do we look like? Total losers, man?

See your point. Oh, man, she dropped her

lyrics book. Hey, she's gonna catch you reading that shit over her shoulder in biology

class. Her songs are badass, man. She's like a powder, son. Go bring

it back to her. Be like a knight in shining armor. All.

Yeah, she'd be all grateful. She'd invite me in, she'd offer me a drink.

I'd accept that. She'd rip your clothes off and make. Sweet love

to you Red shoe, Diary style.

All right? Could happen. Just go talk to her,

man. Maybe she'll think you're funny or something,

you know? What, you think I'm going to.

Hey, you want to borrow some pants, chief? For first impressions

and all? Your bud think

he's gonna do it? No. So you

gotta reach.

Dude, you're getting cheesy poops everywhere, bro. You gotta open your mouth,

man. Ooh, looky what I

found. I thought you were dry. I guess not.

Fire me up.

There is a shit ton of visual jokes that you miss out on in that

clip that you just have to be able to see them to get the jokes.

One of them is like, right after he says, what do you think? We're like,

do we look like losers or something? He scratches his balls and then sniffs

his fingers. And I forget what the other guy does. The other guy's just kind

of sitting there staring blankly into the world. Right. And then that's just basically

like, you know, are we going to look like a couple of losers? And then

they immediately do, like. It's that kind of visual gags that they throw into this.

And Seth Green and the other kid are really good at doing those things.

They're like, the whole way through the movie. And they are the highlight of

this film. Like, for sure. Yeah. They're the thing that make you want to watch

this movie. Yes, they. They are.

They're definitely going to be the two who are going to make you laugh the

most. And for me, especially, the biggest reason, but why I

wanted to watch this movie, why I love this movie. When I was younger,

in my early 20s when I first saw it. That and Jessica Alba.

Well, yeah, of course, Jessica Alba. One of the visual gags

includes them hitting a tit bowl or bong of some sort to

smoke the weed that he finds, which is a ridiculous amount. He finds like a

quarter or more that he just happened to forget he had.

Like, right after the friend leaves. Like, clearly they are just lying

because they didn't want to sell his lazy ass any more weed. Yeah. Or I

don't even think it would have been selling. I think they would have been expected

to give him. And his. Anton's bowl

is his inhaler. Yes, we do see that. Which is really

fucking funny that he was able to hide a bowl as an inhaler. Yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. And then as

we were mentioning, they were hiding the stash from Anton. So they go ahead and

smoke that bowl at the very end of that clip, and they cut from that

scene to the lyric book on the ground. When Anton picks it up,

he gives it a sniff, which is really fucking creepy

nowadays to see. And then he flips through it, feeling that

whole creep vibe even more that he really has right now. He then

brings her back her book and is shocked as she is leaving

and bumps into him as he goes to knock on the door or up towards

the door or muster the courage or. Or what have you. He basically just

throws the book at her and runs off like a fucking coward. And then the

film Cuts from that to some jail in Beaver,

Utah, in our third clip. And you're quite certain that this is the right

man? Well, I'll tell you,

Sister Liquor, that's L cure. Debbie's fine.

All right. Sister Debbie. He's right here.

It's gone. Sit.

Missed it again. Where did it

go?

Beaver.

Bowman.

Wait a minute. Wait. Wait a minute.

Holy.

Don't move. Roll over.

Roll over.

Anton. Tobias. You got a reason for prowling around this neighborhood?

Yeah, I live here. Since when is it against a lot of grocery shop?

Hey, I know you guys. Yeah, you guys were seniors when I was

a freshman. Yeah, let's talk about high school. Anton.

Yeah, you and all your stoner friends zipping around on your skateboards.

Thought you were too cool for us, huh? Did you ever even once invite

us to get high behind the gym? You were dorks

either. You guys holding? What? Look, I'm desperate. I mean,

I know you guys didn't get in the evidence room, so I was thinking,

you asshole, you're trying to score from a cop. That's it.

Complete personal effects search. Yeah.

What the hell is this? Stupid. That's an asthma inhaler. Don't you know anything?

Empty your pockets, boy. Hey, nice try, but they're not even my pants. Let's go.

All right. George found a new home.

Ah. What we here,

Officer? Smells like marijuana

to me. Write it up, Ruck. What? It's empty.

Hey, I know my rights. You can't cite me for possession of a baggy.

Littering. Maximum fine.

$200.

All right. It's a bold choice to have

such screen accurate police officers that are

so accurate to who they would be in real life in the middle of this

fantastical comedy. That's so far. Yeah, yeah. I mean, they. They're really.

They're playing it, man. I mean. I mean, the pathetic person

that didn't get what they wanted in life, abusing their power

later whenever they're given some authority over another, that just

is just too accurate. It's too realistic. It's too believable.

It's how it is. And no matter how ridiculous they try to

portray it here in this film, it just feels even more believable.

Which is sad and pathetic. Yeah, it really is. But while it

is sad and pathetic, it's real.

So during the clip, you actually hear the nun connects the murder sites and to

find a pentagram as she takes off. And. And a very unique Airstream rv,

which I was really loving most. Airstreams are

the type that get towed behind another Vehicle. It's a very rare

one that they actually can drive themselves as a full fledged RV and still

be the shape of an Airstream. So this thing was really cool and I need

to know more about it because it's just very strange.

I must know more. They cut from this

to the pigs harassing Anton, to Anton watching

music videos and rolling up his littering citation.

Using oregano and nutmeg mixed together,

which. Don't fucking do this. It doesn't actually get you high. No,

it will make you gross. Yes. He thinks he hears something and mutes the tv

and then he mutes his dog by grabbing its snout. Then goes right

into smoking the nutmeg and oregano, coughing and nearly vomiting as

he tries to clean out his mouth with dish soap and water. Also,

don't fucking do this. Yeah, no, that's also gross and will

get you sick and you will die. He makes a sandwich with bologna

and mayo, not noticing there is blood all over the knife that he is trying

to use until it is too late. And he takes a bite out of the

sandwich and. And gets a bloody taste mixed in with that. He notices the

cat playing with a dismembered eyeball and hides behind the dog. On his

way up the stairs to check on the strange noises within the house. He runs

upstairs to hide under the blankets with the dog in what looks like his parents

bedroom. Turns out that that is exactly where it is. As the alarm freaks

him out and he sees the under the bed message and runs

down the steps smack dab into the scarecrow decorations.

They all fall down together to the ground, revealing that it is in fact his

parents corpses hiding in the American gothic scarecrow kind of thing they made.

He screams, then realizes it's them. So he runs out of the house

to vomit before his friends run smack dab into him. And that

is the start of our. What's the

matter, chief? Bad shrooms? You got a fever?

I'm gonna show you. All right.

Whoa. Oh man. Yeah.

I love this video. I didn't think they could show it anymore. Yeah.

Damn.

Hey, D. Someone killed my parents. Who's the best part,

dude?

Oh, yeah. Shake him, baby.

Hey, hey, look.

Hey. You see? Huh?

Mr. Guys. Ms. T.

Is this like some kind of Halloween gag or something? I mean,

your parents always go all out.

What the fuck are you doing, man? That's my dad. Come on, cpr,

man. I saw it on Baywatch.

Hey, check it out.

A clue.

Ant. They were killed by ants? Please don't be stupid.

Do you have like an evil Ant.

Holy shit.

Are those ears? Earrings.

They're both left. You know what

that means, Al? Twins.

The killer was wearing your shirt.

The killer was wearing me.

I'm the killer. I'm going to call 911.

What's the number?

Hi. Yeah, there's something wrong with my friend. I think he took some nutmeg

or something. Yeah.

Beck. Yeah, buddy. I would remember

something like that, you know? Yeah. I'm not the killer.

Okay. You know. Yeah, I know. But, I mean, if O.J. could get

off, then I'm sure. Do you want

your beer? Oh, thanks. You sure?

Whoa,

Mick.

Mick. Mick. Hey,

Mick. Mick, talk to me,

man. I didn't do it.

Okay, okay, I did it. All right? But it was an accident.

I can't believe you told me to smoke that.

Okay, Anton, I have to leave now.

Yeah, that's probably a good idea.

The hand goes full massacre mode on the other friend as his dumbass

runs down to the basement. They discuss how Anton's hand is acting on

its own. And the friend darts up the stairs. Stairs. Just as

the possessed hand tosses a saw blade like a murder Frisbee and

beheads the stoner friend whose head and body fall backward

down the stairs. The final word to pass his severed head's

lips is cool. As he finally dies. That is the

end of the first third of the film. Yep.

Jesus. That's the end of the first third of the film. That's our break.

Oh, yeah. Yes. All right. I mean, wow. That's.

That was a cool ass scene. I love the beer. No, thanks,

Claire. I. I think he got bad nutmeg.

Love that. Yeah. My friend, I think he smoked some nut or

he took some nutmeg. Yeah. He just said, yeah, there's something wrong

with him. Classic. It already makes me laugh.

Funny. So I. I'm in love with this movie. It's just hilarious.

So I. I have no notes right now. Just great

stuff. I do love the. Come on, man. I'm comfortable.

Yeah. This takes the 90s slacker

as hero and turns it into a really nice parody for

it to be turn horror. Because as far as even slacker standards

go, Anton is a bit much like. They even set that up to

where his friends. Who are these two guys that are like. I guess they're

brothers or at least they are constantly living together anyway. And they're.

They're just. They're just best friends because you see in the very beginning goes.

And if your mom had teeth, she wouldn't dick so. Well. What's your

point? Okay. They're always hanging out

together. And they are very clearly the typical 90s slackers.

And even they are like, anton, you are fucking lazy.

Right? Like, he. He only had to walk across the street

to go see if they had weed and he was going to try and mooch

off of them. He's clearly been mooching off of them for a while and

they like him, so they let him mooch off of them. Right?

For them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? Yeah. But even they think

he's too lazy, right? Like, he never goes to school even,

Right. They basically made it sound like he hasn't been to school in

months and his parents haven't done anything about it and have just basically

let him be. Like, he is such a lost cause.

His own father is just like, we need to get him out of the house,

not just off the couch. Yeah. And he hasn't even, like,

failed out of high school yet. And his own father, like, how fucking worthless

do you have to be to make Fred Willard talk shit about you? Right?

Yeah, right. It's Fred fucking Willard, and it's weird to see Fred Willard

dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. But, like, if Fred Willard

is talking shit about how fucking worthless you are, you are fucking worthless.

Because he always plays characters that love everybody.

Yeah. He's the nicest dude almost all the time. Right? And he's even that

in this. Like, you can tell. Like, he loves his wife so much he's willing

to do all this bullshit decorating because it makes her happy.

And yet his own son is a worthless piece of.

And he can't contain his rage for his own son for 10 minutes.

And talking about him, I mean, if. Your son's that lazy,

you know what? You could tell the mom probably babied him forever.

So he got away with everything. And the dad just probably didn't care enough to

step in until now. It's too late. Right? He always wanted to make the wife

happy because happy wife, happy life. Right. So he just let her be the out

of him. And now it's too late and he's regretting his choices.

And then it's really too late because they become Halloween decorations for

the first third of the film. Yeah, Right. Although they really

do up it for the Halloween decorations. It's real nice. And it really

does add to the movie that it's Halloween as well. Adds to the spooky

why it's a great Halloween movie to watch. Yeah. I would have watched it

during Halloween even if it weren't for this. So. Yeah, I definitely agree with you

there? All right, why don't we move on to the next third, Right? Hell's yeah.

All right. So the middle third of the film starts. Starts with Anton is traumatized

by what his hand has just done, returning to the comfort of his

couch and trying to figure out what is going on. The evil hand wants

to watch horror and Anton is trying to watch just regular cartoons.

There is a classic struggling with his evil hand in an attempt to control

the remote fight that's going back and forth. When it seems Anton wins

the battle. The evil hand grabs the cat by the tail and spins it around

several times to toss it out the window in a humorously

low long distance that it tosses it. This shocks and

angers Anton who immediately runs to check on the cat. The eager to kill

evil hand immediately rings the bell annoyingly at Jessica Alba's

house until she answers the door in sexy pajamas. And that

is our next clip. Aren't you a little old for ding dong

ditch? Sorry about your bush problem.

What were you doing out there anyway? The thing.

Jesus, look at you.

Yeah, I was looking for my cat.

We got in a fight. You sure got your ass kicked.

I did okay. So you ran

and hid in my bus.

Molly, I shouldn't be here. I'm not

myself today. In fact, I'm someone completely

different. You're so shy. It's okay. I get it. So why don't

we just skip this chickening out, sneaking around stage? No, you don't

understand. I'm Dean.

Look, do you want to come inside for a second and talk? Me? Yeah,

me. Okay.

You never gave me a chance to thank you earlier. That book is really important

to me. So nothing

cooler than a chick based guitar player. Especially one that writes her own lyrics.

I mean, you read them? Uh, I couldn't

help looking in the book. Amazing. You know, look, I even got my favorites memorized.

Devil girl with nothing to lose. She got wind in her hair

and gum on her shoes. Huh.

I was like 13 when I wrote that. Oh, wow. You're amazing.

Thanks.

I should not be here. Molly. Safer in here than on

the streets. Don't you know there's a killer out there?

That's what I'm saying. That's exactly what I'm saying. I'm dangerous.

Oh yeah? How dangerous?

I'm a kid. I've done stuff, you know.

I'm impressed. I never would have thought

you'd have the balls to just grab me like that.

The clip ends with them getting it on and the possessed hand is getting

super rough with her so he ties it up, she says he is kinky.

And they continue to fool around. So the film cuts from that to Vivica Fox

on her way to kick the shit out of the evil in our

sixth clip. Move it,

people. Let's go. Some of us are on serious missions

here. There's evil out there. And I got kick it's

ass.

Shit. My parents are home. Well, I have to pick this up

later, baby Snakes. Because my parents might take offense to some dirty, bloody boy

thing in their dock. Tomorrow. Yeah. You want to see me again?

Come by around seven. The curfew's annihilated most

of our options, but maybe we can swing by the dance. Yeah.

I thought she said the streets weren't safe.

I'll protect you. Dearly beloved,

we're gathered here today because you're all dead. And it's

my fault. Mom?

Dad. What can I say? I mean, you brought me into this

world. You put a roof over my head. You fed me until I killed

you. So I guess if you look at it that way, I. I haven't been

a good son. But I'm really, really, really sorry.

And wherever you are, I just want you to forgive me. Because I'm

gonna try to change.

Mick. Guys. You guys

were the greatest. I mean, I'm never gonna forget the way we sat around

all day, watched TV and got really stoned. And all

those other times where we just. I guess that's all we

did. Amen.

Over here. Anton, help me. Come on,

man. I can't breathe down here.

Anton. Anton,

can you hear me? Mick? Yeah, man, Mickey. Now get

me out of here. You're dead. No, I'm not.

You cocked me on the head pretty good. I must have been unconscious. Tank.

I know, fucker. Now dig me up.

Stay where you are. Vic. Nick.

Please don't kill me.

Hey, watch it, man.

What'd I take last night? That dream was intense.

Intense.

Dude, check it out. Yeah, I'm watching.

See, guys, that's fine. Thank God. You. Because I just.

I had this crazy dream that I, like, kill.

Hey.

Oh,

hey. Sorry about that thing with the shovel. You're dead.

Easy, tiger. Undead, actually.

You said you were just unconscious. You lied to me. Hey, you killed me,

all right? Try and keep this thing in pursuit. Yeah, I was a little bitter

about the whole getting killed by my best friend thing. But I've had time to

get over it. So why are you here? We need a

place to kick it. Don't be selfish, Anton. No one else's parents are dead.

No, no, no. No, not why. Why are you here? Here? I mean, what are

you? You guys like flesh eating zombies back from hell, Ready to exact revenge?

Is that it? Why would we go to hell? Duh, we're not bad. It's not

like we're good or anything, but. At least you don't go around killing people.

Yeah, I didn't kill anybody on purpose. Okay? Okay. Yeah, well,

we weren't in hell. I mean, there was this big bright white light at the

end of a long tunnel, right? And there were all these chicks, voices and

that music. Music? Yeah, kind of uncool music. Like Enya and

these chicks, voices, they were saying, come to us. Come towards the line.

Woo. So what happened? I figured,

fuck it, I mean, it was really far.

Go.

Anton, I've gotta ask. What's with the hand?

It doesn't obey me at all. It's the only thing I can come up with

is it's gotta be possessed. Do you

guys know anything about Satan or evil or.

No. But we know somebody who does.

Did you know them well? Not really.

You? Yeah, they were great.

I just feel really bad, you know. Cause I

was always so mean to them. Like this one time

they asked me to go out on a double date. And I

thought they were. Cause there's only one to meet, right?

So I told them to go blow each other.

Wow. Did they?

Oh, the way you treated them, the guilt must be making you feel like shit

inside, right? Ready?

You still in high school? Yeah, me, I got out about three years

ago. Frank, I need your help.

What, are you playing a little two ball there, bud?

Look, I gotta talk to you. This is some serious stuff going on.

Hey, Anton, can't you see him getting a little action over here?

Oh man, I can't believe you cock blocked

me like that. I thought we were buds. Randy,

wait. I didn't mean to mess you up. Randy, this.

I need your help. Hey,

Randy.

Hey, who are you? Noob, drive through

duty. Excuse me.

Sorry. Break time. All right. Yeah,

yeah. Give me the big five with the Spicy Safari fries, the African

Apple turnover and the Raspberry Rainforest Shake.

Slap some extra mustard on that Jungle Burger for me, will you? Tell me everything

you know about the devil. Anton,

are you out of your mind?

He doesn't have satanic music all the time. You must have picked up something on

the guy. Look, it's just music.

Like Mozart and that other.

Let's keep it clean. Who, Beethoven?

Yeah, yeah, that's the guy. Look, it's just like their music. Only you

gotta know something. I'm desperate. Oh, man.

Here.

It's my hand, okay? It's, it's. It's. It's like it's got a mind of its

own. It makes me do things I don't want it to do. Oh, yeah,

man. I used to be like that. Get into all kinds

of stupid. Look, the trick is to keep yourself

busy. That's why I'm always working on the Ford.

Keeps me out of trouble. Idle hands are

the devil's playground. Keep my hands busy.

Yeah, that actually makes sense. Thanks, Randy. You're the coolest.

They cut from this to Anton knitting and watching a Rob Zombie video with his

undead homies in our seventh clip. What are you, like knit

now? Don't take this the wrong way, Antonio, but you look really queer doing

that. Randy broke it down for me.

Idle hands are the devil's playpen. So I'm thinking, you know,

keep my hands occupied, right? Oh, man, that saying's

not literal. It's more like,

you know, metaphorical. Right.

This is the noise complaint. Hey, ain't this

the Tobias residence? Holy shit. It's Anton.

He's the killer. I better call for backup. You crazy? And let

the vets get the credit? Think about it. If we color them ourselves,

we'll be heroes. Yeah, but we can't go in there without a warrant. Missing the

Bill of Rights. We got just cause.

Freeze. Yeah, freeze.

Guys. Guys. What do I do?

I think I

was gonna say I think you should do what the officers tell you, but now

I changed my mind. Yeah, man, you should just kill them.

They're alive. They are not. You just shot one through the head. They're morgue

meats. Look, guys, I don't want to kill

anybody. Out. Hey, you don't want to go to jail though.

Jail. That's it. That's exactly it.

They'll throw me in one of those rubber rooms. I won't be able to hurt

anybody else. Cuff me.

Okay, Just drop the

knitting needles. That's probably not a good idea. Why don't

you just cuff me? Okay, Drop the knitting needles and put your hands

on your head now. I can't. Okay, put down the knitting needles,

Anton, and come quietly. Cuff me. Put the knitting needles down now.

Just cuff me. Put them down. Cuff me. Put them down. Cuff me.

Put them down. Cuff me. Put em down. Cuff me. Put em down. Cuff me.

Cuff me.

Go. Go. Buffalo.

Stop. I didn't do it, okay? It was

my hand again. It's like didn't help at all.

Well, yeah, man. I told you that saying was more like metaphorical.

I can't keep doing this.

Those are my mind. Get your

head. I think we should probably state

that this whole movie, Idle Hands being the Devil's Play thing that it's based on,

it was a metaphor for people masturbating if they get too bored.

Yeah, and a slacker spends their whole day masturbating and bored.

Because that. That's the dream of being a slacker, right?

I don't know. I don't know about being bored if you're masturbating. That sounds

like it. Right. Well, like the parts where you have to take a break to

catch your breath and then replenish your fluids before you can go again.

That's where you. Yeah, true,

true. All right. That I get. Yes. The end of the clip starts

a sequence of Anton trying to cut off his hand after it heroically

murdered two police officers. Yes. I put those heroically.

I just love that. That's good shit. Good job. It saves Anton and they

shot his friend for no reason. Come on. Yeah. No, that's true. You're right.

You're right. How dare those cops. Dirty fucking bad pigs.

Anton tries to cut off his hand after it heroically killed two policemen.

The undead slackers get up to help. And that is our eighth clip.

No way. Whoa. It's the only thing I can think of.

Well, wait. Once that hand is gone, how are you gonna cut off the other

one? Oh, the left one's a keeper. I mean, I. I guess it

wasn't idle enough. Are you sure?

Yeah. I mean, I use it for a lot of things. You know, I.

I light up, I change the remote, I relieve a

little tension. This is the answer. I know

it. Those things won't even cut my bagel.

Shit.

Nick, grab the electric carver.

Oh, look at me. Look at me. I'm Leatherface.

Thanks, Mick.

I'll just use this one.

I can't watch.

You missed. Stop.

Bite down. Don't cut me,

man.

He screamed like a girl.

What the hell you doing?

I gotta stop the blood flow. Don't you ever watch er?

Look at that nasty thing. That's gonna be infected for sure.

You got any antiseptic, Anton? I don't know.

Well, Pinup's got some in a first aid kit in his house.

Ooh, and burritos. He'll be okay, buddy. We'll be back

in a sec to fix you up. Anton.

Catch on the flip flop.

This was all Evil Dead 2 stuff. The severing of the hand and all of

the jokes that follow after it is Very much Evil Dead 2 stuff. Including the

way that he's making noises whenever they're cauterizing the stump. Exactly.

Yeah. Of course, the undead friends leave and then

when he goes to try to locate his severed hand,

he notices that that limb is now missing and there

is only a note left behind in its blood stating,

bad move, ant Anton where it used to be. This starts

a sequence of Anton looking for the severed hand when Jessica Alba's

character arrives in what is less clothing than

what is worn in a Victoria's Secret ad at the time.

And also, thank you movie for that. Yeah, I was gonna say let's. I don't

know. I'm not gonna complain. She is supposed to be an angel, I guess,

but it's basically just a bustier type of lingerie with

like the flowing gown, nightgown, negligee thing.

And you see later, her best friend who she meets at the dances, dresses like

a devil, right? And she's wearing some ch. Cheap ass angel wings and then somewhat

of a halo with that as an excuse, but it's basically just a

lingerie dress thing that she's wearing. Yes, again, not complaining,

just stating that's how she's dressed. But yeah, no one's complaining. We're just stating

things. We're stating facts. These are truth facts. Anton wrestles

with the severed hand and tries to kill it by tossing it into his microwave

and overcooking it while he tries to calm Alba and tries to buy

some time. She is cross because she does not want to miss the

band at the dance. And he is watching with glee as the

hand burns and distorts inside of the microwave. She decides to come inside, so he

darts to the door to greet her. There is dialogue. I don't want to write

anymore. So that's our ninth clip. Wow. You look incredible.

Thanks. But you should have called. If you needed more time with your costume,

fine, but I hate waiting. So what are you supposed to be anyway?

I'm a fast food employee that cut

off his own hand. Cute.

Hey, Anton. Anton.

Anton. We're back. Anton. We got antiseptic

and adhesive bandages. The ouch free kind.

Anton. Microwave for three minutes

and enjoy. They're just really starting to get on my nerves.

Ah. Ow.

What are you doing? Yeah.

Whoa. You, this way. Easy.

Yeah, that's better.

Wow. Thanks, man.

Oh, gross. Maybe we should clean it first.

Hey, yeah. And while we're at it, we can clean the whole fucking house.

This ain't our mess. Whoa.

Look, I can't go with dancing, okay? I'M sorry.

My. My parents,

they're gonna be home in a few minutes and if they see the mess I

made during my costume, they'll kill me. Look, I won't be too

long and I'll meet you there.

Is something wrong? Look, you need to go there. You need

to go now. And you can't stop for anything till you're inside with everyone else.

Okay? You wouldn't stand me up, would you?

Not a chance, baby. Snakes.

Okay, I'll get the next one.

Oh, shit. I burned my tongue.

Oh. Oh. Ew. That's disgusting. I bet

I can fix that for you. Hold still.

That's better. Burrito.

Burrito. Wait, wait.

Don't open it. Don't open it. No.

Well, I'm sorry, man. There were only two. No. Will you let the hand out?

Well, we brought you first aid kit. Where did it

go? What? You mean the hand? Of course I mean the hand.

Try looking up your ass.

Hey, foxy, you looking for a

ball? Cause I could help you find one that's the right size for

you. What the hell?

Try and keep up. I'd be happy, happy to keep up with you,

sweet thing. Hey, don't you guys have a dance to go

to? Oh, that's right. We gotta do our costumes.

You coming, Randy? No, no. I think I could find

myself a ride. All right.

So what brings you to Bowen?

You don't want to know. No, seriously,

I'm interested. Really?

Yeah. Okay, here it goes.

I come from a long line of Druidic priestesses sworn to fight a certain evil

force that possesses the laziest fuck up it can find.

It will kill as many people as possible and then drag

a free soul into the netherworld. That's some weighty

shit there. Yeah, here's the kicker. I actually

have the one thing that can stop this from happening.

I just need to find the poor bastard whose hand is possessed.

Weird. Hey, earlier today, this guy,

Anton, he told me that his hand was doing stuff that he didn't want it

to do. Don't you fuck with me,

mister. He's up there. Kitten, I'm telling you the

truth. This guy was freaked. Show me where

he lives.

Left. Turn left.

Guys, guys, we gotta go to the dance.

The hand, it's after Molly. You know, we should check out

the dance. I bet you I'll win best Costume. And chicks dig winners.

I'll probably hook up. Yeah. Cause severed heads are one of the top

ten big turn ons. Anton, it's killing

me to see you this stressed out, man. I mean, you cut off your hand

in the interest of who knows how many others. So it's not your problem anymore.

So what I want you to do is take a little Anton time,

okay? Just relax and kick back,

my man. No, no, no. You know what?

Not this time, okay? I'm through with that. I mean, all I do

is I sit around all day. I veg out, I watch tv, I smoke pot.

No, no, no. No Kevin Costner speeches, all right? Let's just.

That's him. They're getting into my Ford.

Wait here. He's dangerous. Wait.

Don't let him steal my board. Trust me, I know what I'm doing.

It's lucky. Shit.

Couldn't be automatic. You want me to drive?

No, just. Just shift for Santa.

Wait,

what was that? Who cares?

Hey, get back here.

That resurrection at the end of the clip takes us through the middle third

of the film. So we are now two thirds down. And this is going to

take us right to the end at the next. Yes. Anything to add

or you just want to get and. Oh, yeah. No. Yeah. So have we gotten

to the scene where they get to the school yet? No, they're not at the

school. Going to be after the start of this. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, because that's.

That's the scene we really need to talk about anyway.

So. Yeah, the head gets out. They. They figure out a way to get

the. Their way around. I like how they. They stick the guy's head

on the tapes. It. He's like, oh, I burnt my tongue. As if they're both

dead. Not being the worst thing. Well, once your tongue

is burnt and you're dead, it's not going to heal. So if he loses taste

buds or if he can actually taste anything. Yeah. He's going to not

be able to taste anything now for the rest of his life because he burned

it with a burrito. They must be able to taste things because,

you know, they're in these burritos. But I love when

it's like the head gets out. You let it out. What we made. We brought

you a first aid kit because where to go? Have you tried looking

up your ass? Yeah. Total slackers

from the 90s. This is basically how we were at

that age, because this movie was. They were our age at this. At this time.

Yeah, the movie was kind of directed at our generation.

Yeah. Yeah. At that time. Yeah. Like they were trying to sell this shit to

us and it worked really hard for you. Yes. And I

loved it. Just the fucking so far. I'm still in love

with this Movie. I have no problems with it whatsoever.

It's just. It's a fun movie for me.

There are a few pieces of, like, homophobia in there with

some of the things that the friends say to each other, but that is the

time for. Sure. I cut it out for the show. And if it was in

any of the clips, I cut it out, and then I just don't acknowledge it

whenever we're talking, talking about it in the notes. That's kind of the only thing

that I was kind of a little cringed at. But it's really not as egregious

as some of the other ones. It was just typical hetero kids trying

to tease each other as if being gay was a bad thing. That's just basically

how it goes. And that was the time for sure. Late night. That was the

time that unfortunately, those insults flew everywhere.

Yeah. And the fact that it persisted well into the 2000s and got even worse

when everybody was trying to be Edge Lord with it and their humor. Yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah. Not. Not the best,

but. But it. You. It's not nearly as

bad as some films from that time, so.

No, it's significantly better than a lot of the other ones.

It was almost like. And the characters that are behaving like that are the dumbasses

when they say that shit, too. Yeah, yeah. They're like the kids who you're not

supposed to. It's the characters you're not supposed to quite like. Yeah. All right,

well, I can move on and finish this if you're ready, man. Let's do it.

All right, so the last 30 starts with the couple that left the

bowling alley to go to the dance making out hot and heavy in a car

while the severed hand crawls around the outside looking for its way inside to kill

them. The couple in KISS makeup decide to open a

window because their makeup is running. But that really thank

you, movie. We're not quite there yet. But, yes, it will be a

thank you movie. Just to say that when they open up the window to

make the makeup not running, the thing that's causing the makeup to be running is

the fact that you're rubbing your faces all over each other. Yeah. Yeah. I mean,

you're not doing your makeup any favors here. Yeah.

Unless you're using a rubber mask grease paint,

white and scorched cor cork for your blacks on your

face paint for when you're doing kiss, it's gonna run no matter what. And even

then, if you're rubbing your face on shit, it's gonna run. And this has been

your makeup tutorial with corks. But anyway, they open

up the window that allows the hand to get its way in.

The lady pops her top. And once again, thank you movie

for that. Yeah, that's. That's. That's a hell of a top

pop top right there. The dude gets loving up on them

titties as we all pretty much wanted to the minute they were popped open.

Then the severed hand joins in, making me feel even creepier now

from making that last statement. And then kills the girl when she notices the

hand and screams. The idiot slackers arrive and find the couple dead

there in the car. And that is our 10th clip. It's here.

Okay, you guys go in the dance. Protect Molly. I'm going after that fucking hand.

What a waste. I thought you didn't like Curtis. I'm talking about that

ass. Well, at least he died happy.

Molly, what's bugging you?

Just thinking. And I know who.

Bo. Just thought he'd be here by now.

He'll be here. Just put me

in a wheelchair. I'm going to go get some punch. You want some?

Okay. I'll be right back. Control my fingers. I can't control my brain. Control my

fingers. I. Wow. You guys look great.

Wow. Who did your makeup?

I guess Anton did. Based on my design, though.

You want to dance? Hell, yeah. Okay.

No, no. We're supposed to find Molly. Quit being such

a skirt. We'll look for while we dance. Come on, there's plenty of chicks here.

Careful, it's on kind of loose. Cool.

Look, don't put me on hold again. I want to talk to your supervisor.

What? Well, yes, of course.

No. What's taking so long? Is this the supervisor?

What do you mean my credit card is no good? Well, you must have

the wrong number. No,

it's 8468.

Yes. Yes.

Okay. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh, that's good.

Okay, I think. I think you've been a bad girl.

And I want to spank you with my ruler.

Oh, yes, that's nice. That is nice.

Well, now I'm hot. Ah, I'm hot.

Thank you. Got me so hot. It's. It's like I can

feel you touching me.

I can feel you touching me.

Finger. Come on. We got a

financial. Yeah, yeah. And kick his ass.

Are you Anton? Look, if you're a teacher, we're gonna have to discuss my attendance

record some other time. Cause I gotta. Thank God I found you. My name is

Debbie Lure. I know what's happening, Anton. I can stop it.

Really? How?

Die yeah, fuck him up,

Debbie. The host of evil must die.

Isn't that knife a little extreme, kitten?

You're not going anywhere, you evil hosting buckstick. Nobody touches my

board. Come on, Debbie, give him what for.

Wait, wait. I'm not a host, okay? Look,

the evil was in my hand, all right?

I cut it off, okay? Oh,

shit. You let it loose. That was probably

a mistake. No kidding. And now it's after my girlfriend.

You got a girlfriend? I gotta stop, all right? It's out for blood. Oh,

that ain't all it's out for. If your girl's the one it's after,

then at midnight, it's taking her to hell.

Hell, yeah. It's not even nine o'clock

yet. We got some time. No,

it's actually six minutes till midnight.

Druittine. Druittine.

Right, let's go. Mommy doesn't have.

Oh, God. That's disgusting. Come on,

man. You're. You're dead. You know, think about it.

It's. It's. It's illegal.

Everybody go home. There's a cycle killer here.

I caught up my hand and it's going to kill you all. Get off the

stage.

But no, it's true. His hand killed us yesterday. Yeah,

it sliced me up real good. While you out there.

Out of here, kid. You had your fun.

Now it's time.

It's weird. I don't harbor any serious resentment or

issues with the band, the Offspring, or Dexter himself.

However, watching Dexter get his scalp ripped off in

this movie is one of my favorite things that the Offspring has ever done.

See, I like the band the Offspring. I like the music. But,

yeah, that was still fun to watch. I just. Like I said, I don't.

I don't. I don't dislike them. I've seen them in concert before because

my wife likes them and wanted to go, and I went with her, and that

was a lot of fun. I've never hated them, and I don't. Like I said,

I don't have any animosity towards Dexter, but watching him get his.

Fun to see. Sometimes it's fun to see someone get their head ripped,

their scalp ripped off. That's the highlight. I get it. It's the highlight of his

career and the band's career, as far as I'm concerned. For me personally, that's like.

It never gets any better than that. Yeah. And again, it's not. I think their

music's actually really good, so maybe that's more important. But that's just

me. Yeah. It's not with any malice that I say that. It's just that it

doesn't get any better than that to me. I don't know why. Yeah. All right,

so the end of the clip has Dexter from the Offspring getting his scalp ripped

off, which is the pinnacle of their career for me. And the Hand dance

came by the hand. You are such an asshole sometimes.

All the time, baby. All the time. That starts a sequence

of all of the kids panicking at the disco and trying to flee

the gym and escape. The Hand drops a light scaffolding on some

of the kids and murders them. And then the rest really start to run

off. Jessica Alba's friend grabs her and forms a

plan in our penultimate clip. God, did you see

that thing? I had to get Anton. No, screw him.

I mean, he'll be fine. Um.

Come on.

You want to go in there? You want to stay out here and get killed

and. Or trouble? I was

going to get some. I really doubt it.

So Pinop's a lot more creative than I thought he was. I mean, he's actually

kind of cool. And that he had that costume. Maybe we

should go a little faster. I don't know if he did it or.

Wait, wait. Go.

Shit. We're trapped in here. Oh, my God. It's going to get

me. No, it's going to get me. It's not going to get you. It's not

going to get you. What about the blade?

I mean, we can't go through there. We'll be. Boris, give me your shoes.

What are you gonna do? Oh,

no. It's too far. I can't drop

that far. We're gonna die in this vent.

I'm not gonna die. We're gonna die here. The rats are gonna eat us and

nobody's gonna find us.

Oh, God. Okay, we're good.

Be careful. All right, let's go.

This would be a lot more comfortable if your ass wasn't so wide.

This is dumb. Well, Anton needs our help. The best thing about being

dead is zero responsibility. That's Tanya. Let's save her.

Come on. Hurry up.

She needs me. She needs you like a fish need.

Okay, this sucks.

Tanya, grab the cord and come down. I can't.

I can't. I'm scared. Do it.

Tonya, come on. I can't. It's here.

It's in here. I know it. Why'd you

pull the rope up? I didn't pull the

rope up.

Tanya, where are you? I can't see. You gotta talk to the.

Please, just jump. Just jump.

Grab the block. Get it off.

Get off. Get Off.

Shreds her up real good. As you heard at the end of the clip,

Alba's friend in the devil costume is killed by the hand when it pulls up

the rope, hangs her by it, drops her through the fan, and then pulls

the shoe out, making the fan start up, dragging her back

up by pulling the rope back up into the fan, which shreds her.

Yeah. Alba runs off. Oh, go ahead.

That's some shit. Alba runs off in fear and

is knocked as she flees to the art room. We then

see Anton makes it to the art room and the stoner friends in the

air ducts find Tanya's remains. They make some really off color

jokes about it. Yeah. As they do throughout the whole

movie. Anton fights with his evil hand that puts on several puppets

in the art room to hide and attack him. That made it actually a little

bit scarier because they're more like dolls and was a lot creepier than just the

mutilated hand. It really kind of turned on you there. Yeah. But it's

also some genuinely funny stuff because every new puppet is just absolutely hilar.

Is that. It's rock. Yeah, yeah. Just when Anton gets

the chance. Go ahead. No, no, that whole scene,

because yeah, it's like. It's a whole bunch of different puppets

too. You're just like, good God. Oh, buddy. And it's in the dark. It's one

of the more suspenseful parts of the movie, to be honest. And it's some genuinely

funny too, because it's. It's creepy and funny at the same time.

And just when Anton gets the chance to destroy his severed

hand, his friends drop in from the ceiling and let it get away.

Once again, they bicker with each other about it. As we hear Jessica Alba

scream for help. She is tied to a car being lifted towards the ceiling

to crush her. And Anton struggles to untie her before

her untimely demise. They wrestle with the severed hand in the puppet

holding the lever up to crush her. Seth Green gets distracted

and finds a shot bong. So the undead guys will get even more distracted

as they go and get high. Anton takes a hit and Alba throws a

fit about it. Justifiable. So she says, you're getting high with

your friends now when you should be trying to save me. Or something along those

lines. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't believe you're getting high with your friends.

Yeah. And then Anton uses that. Anton time.

Yeah. Anton uses that giant hit to hot box

his severed hand inside of the puppet, which has it get all dopey

as it lets Go. And drops to the ground. It stops the

car press from crushing her as

it falls to the ground. Anton tries to get the lever to lower

the car and the hand attacks as he goes to do so.

Vivica Fox tosses the knife as the hand lunges

and it stabs the hand, sticking it solidly to Seth

Green's character's chest. Popping in an anticlimactic poof

with Green's wonderful comments in our final clip.

That's it? That's it. No explosions? No hellfire?

No. I mean, no. I'm glad everybody's alright, but yeah,

that was weak. Well, my work here is done.

Time for the ritualistic sex. You coming?

You are a pistol.

I'm still up here.

Thanks. Nick your butt.

Come here. Ah. As usual,

marijuana saves an otherwise disastrous day.

Hey, I never got a hit. Light me,

Anton. Sweet Jesus.

Okay, that wasn't my fault. That thing should have come down a lot slower.

What? What the hell? Hey, don't forget my bomb.

You did not make that bomb. Uh huh. I arc welded it and shit.

You don't even take auto shop. Fuck. You coming,

Anton? I can't even believe

it. You blew off heaven to kick it with me.

You are the coolest. Are you kidding me? You taking care of

me beats the shit out of heaven, let me tell you. Really?

Dr. Johnson. Time for your meds,

guys. You blew off heaven too? No, we're your

guardian angels. Oh, poor thing.

He's out of his mind with delirium. Visiting hours are over.

Oh, oh, oh. I'll see you tomorrow.

Okay. So the deal

is we're supposed. To monitor you and make sure you don't revert back

to your evil ways. But you're seeing fine now.

Let's hit the snack master in the hall. All right. You want anything,

Antoine? Yeah, give me some crunch nuggets. These things are awesome.

Hey, thanks you guys.

Hit the light,

Vic. What do I come calling me Vic?

Hey, you're right hand on screams like a girl.

Think we should tell him we painted that on the ceiling?

Fuck it. Hey, let's go walk through and nurse. Watch it.

Some of them are guys. And with

that they roll credits. Cinema PsyOps 10

years. 10 years. All right,

so that is the end of the film. Yes. Good film.

Good film. Yeah, I definitely think it

for the way that times have changed from when that was released.

It definitely still holds up. There's a few things that are a little creepy.

Like the way that Jessica Alba's character really wanted to

be manhandled and got turned on. By it.

Yeah. Little problematic that, like, he just grabs her without

any kind of consent or, you know, forethought, and that's what she's been waiting for.

But yeah, that's not. That's. That. That could be a

little. Yeah. And then having that and then having her basically just

be like this. Red flag warning. Ignoring constantly

in a state of male gaze disrobe for our viewing

pleasure made me feel a little guilty and uncomfortable. Not that I didn't

still enjoy seeing her like that. I'm just saying,

like, just a little bit about that felt a little.

A little rough to watch. It was a little bit for the male gaze.

Yeah. But that was also very Norma normal back in those times.

Yeah, absolutely. 100%. You are not wrong. That is

just how it was. And we were privileged that it was like that.

And we weren't complaining then. No, no, yeah,

yeah. We just allowed for it

to happen. What we should basically say is that

now that you don't want that to be the case anymore, we completely

understand and support that and have no argument as to why you shouldn't.

No, that is your decision and we just support

it. Ah. We can move

on if you want. I'm ready to just close out this episode.

Story time. All right, we're going to take the break now. We're going

to play from the Offspring, the song Beheaded, which was featured

very prominently in Idle Hands. And when we come back,

we'll have my story.

Cort. It's Matt, man. We gotta do something about Dan.

I. I made it across the line. He got the pictures.

I got drunk. I was pissed. I was in the bunker.

So I sort of took all the. Stills and all the.

The cameras are inside the sex spot. So it's really,

really up close in person, personal stuff. And I. I took them

all and I. And I sent them to a man. And I don't think Dan's

in a good way, man. He told you about Coy yet apparently

he has a troll or something

that lives under his big toe and he calls it Chloe. I mean,

we got problems, man. We had a lot of problems with dad,

and we got to do something about it. All right. Call me.

Yeah. So they did play that song during the show.

That was in the dance. That was part of it right before it got interrupted

by Manton. And if you listen to the lyrics, it kind of fits. It's about

a guy going psycho and beheading people and doing nasty things with bodies.

So. Yeah. Yeah. And I just. Yeah, it's.

Go ahead. No, no, go Ahead. I was gonna say I'm just delaying time until

my story.

Story time.

Story time. Okay. So I

just finished the first cycle of my therapy

sessions. It's my story time. Oh, yay.

You getting another tattoo or. Well,

earlier this week, about Tuesday,

I got notice that my therapist had an opening

that. You mean your tattoo artist, right? Same, same.

Anyway, my therapist had an opening because one of his

previous sessions was canceled. And my normal. My normal

appointment time was once a month. I would go on a Wednesday.

And so it just so worked out that he was telling me on Tuesday that

I have a Wednesday opening. It was a cancellation. If it'll work for you,

we can get your sleeve done before Halloween. And that was kind of

like the little thing that he dangled there. I bet you we could get your

sleeve done in the time that we have allowed. And so it became kind

of a bet because we have a lot to work to do on my sleeve

in our therapy sessions. Right. So, yeah, we still had a lot to get done.

So I took him up on the offer, and I basically said,

well, I got to see if I can get it. Get the day off,

because I'm currently migrating website material around

from one server to another, but that means it has to be integrated

from one website to another, which means Translating, you know, JavaScript to

TypeScript and ASP. Net pages to Angular

Componentry. That kind of stuff, you know what I mean? Like,

not great stuff. Not boring stuff. Not terrible stuff to

do for a programmer, but stuff that you have to do and you have to

get done and in a very short amount of time. So luckily,

I was ahead enough to where I basically reported to my boss and told

him what's up? And he was like, yeah, you're going to have the day.

So I got it approved. And so this last Wednesday, I went in

for my therapy session for the final round of this course,

and I got the coloring done around my Bat

Pack tattoo. The Bat Pack, for those in the know,

or. Well, for those that don't know, is Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee,

and Vincent Price. There's a famous photo of them because they all shared,

like, birthdays really close to around each other. And actually, John Carradine

was kind of part of this too, for the Batman. But because

they share birthdays around each other, there's a photo of the three of them kind

of posing together on one of these events where they're, like, you know, having dinner

together or what have you as older men. Well, my tattoo is them of

characters when they're younger men. But. But in that position of the

portraits, so that they're all sort of positioned as they were

in that bat pack photo. So it's a younger version of Vincent Price,

a younger version of. As the character in the bat, a younger version

of Christopher Lee playing Dracula in the Hammer

films of his Dracula performance. I think it's actually the Scars of Dracula

pose that I picked. Yeah. And then Peter Cushing as Dr.

Frankenstein, and I think it might be the Curse of Frankenstein is the pose

that we picked for that one. And so we didn't have color references

for all of these whenever he did them, and we had to decide how

to get the coloring done. So he took one reference of Vincent

Price from the bat that was colorized, that was done with all these

wild, like, psychedelic Technicolor swirl colors and

was like, hey, can we just do this across all of them? And I'm like,

yeah, let's do it. Yeah. All right. We were nervous

about it because he would have to translate and figure out where the shadows

would be, what colors, and all of that for each of the other faces that

weren't Vincent and Prices. And, you know, he was kind

of having a discussion with one of the other people in the shop about it,

and eventually, you know, they were talking about possibly drawing it out

to see what it might look like and kind of experiment before he did it.

And then eventually he was like, you know, I think I can just do it.

You know, I was like, I'm just going to do it and freehand it.

And then I immediately said, well, I trust you, man. I know you can do

it, so just go for it. Just freehand it. I believe that you can do

it. And so he did, right? Yeah. I'm nervous as

shit about that. But he does it, and we're getting up to about

half the session, and the there's people walking by saying things

like, this palette is really bold. This color palette is

very bold. And, you know, this is very bright. This is crazy bright

for some of the colors. I'm getting some comments about that, right? And they look

at the reference material, and they're like, wow, that's wild. And then they're all like,

oh, my God. How are you gonna translate it to these other people? And everybody's

mentioning the same thing that we were supposed to be nervous about while

he's doing the tattoo. And the entire time, me saying I trusted him was

100% true, because guess what? I didn't look at it until we had

to take a break. I just let him bold Move. Yeah. And then we looked

at it and looked at the colors and everything. And I'm. I already know

that the way that he has to do the coloring, I've seen this before where

because of the blood and the swelling of the tissue and everything else that's going

on, he has to plan ahead on how it's going to look, when it heals,

when he's doing it and packing the color in and just using the technique that

he knows that'll deliver that. And when I'm looking at it, I have to realize

that, yes, this is not how it's going to look. These colors are going to

be more muted and it's going to, you know, look more like the actual colors

because it's really puffy. I mean, he's been jamming color into

my arm for three hours into the small area, right. Like, the tissue

is swollen and bruised and saying,

fuck you. At this point, the skin, it's. It's bruised,

it's spongy. Yeah. It's not happy with us. But then we take

the break from that. We finish it up and I take a look at it

and the colors are looking insane. And it's not. It's not

looking good at this point because of the puffiness and everything. And I know I

just have to wait a couple days, so I do. And then he's like,

okay, you ready to do the musculature stuff? I'm like, yeah, let's see how much

we can get done. So he fills in all the spots where the stitching is

supposed to be. Like, my tattoos are supposed to be like, you know, I got,

like, the skin was removed and I have new skin I've collected from other people's

tattoos for my arms. And that's how my arms are, you know,

put back together. I guess you could say, well, we're doing the musculature and all

of that stuff that's underneath. The areas where the stitching is coming open

enough to reveal that stuff, and we end up getting it all done, but he

has to stay late to get it done. But he totally volunteers to

do it, and it takes another couple of hours. I was probably in

the chair for, I think, like, the max is like six hours is what he

normally does. And I think I was in the chair for about six hours,

maybe six and a half. We took a couple of like 15 minute, ish breaks,

but I was there for about seven hours before I left. And most of that

time was in the chair. There was maybe a half hour where him And I

took a break to go to the restroom, and that was it. Nice. Not bad

at all. Yeah. The sleeve is finished. And when I brought it home and the

wife saw all the bold colors, she was like, I don't think that looks.

And I'm like, well, look how swollen it is. Look how red it is.

Look how puffy it is. You gotta wait, like, I was like, you gotta wait

a couple days before you get a better idea. Let the colors get a little

muted and you'll see. And fast forward to when we were hanging out at your

house last night. When I got home after we left

from the garage bar, I, you know, was taken off my shirt sleeve

and cleaning my arm and everything just because. And getting ready to go,

like, just to be down for the night and, you know, chill out. And I

noticed that the colors had gotten muted on the tattoo and it's looking really,

really good. And it's healing up actually pretty nice. And that it's, like super itchy.

And I showed it to my wife, and even she was like, oh, okay.

I see what the colors are trying to do. Because instead of just seeing the

bold, like, all the color that gets packed into the top layers

once that stuff all leaks back out, now you're seeing what's actually going

to be there and how the gradients work with the wash and everything. And the

Technicolor swirl stuff that is showing up on all

of the three of the bat pack now actually looks pretty incredible, believe it or

not. Yeah. So there you go. Yeah, there you go. That's the

end. With that, my therapy session for my left

arm is pretty much complete. We have a couple of touch up things that

we have to discuss before we move on to the next portion, which I'm

going to be getting my chest tattooed next, I think.

Oh, all right. There you go. Jesus. I'm getting into some fun areas.

Yeah, that sounds painful to me. Yeah, we're going to work

through some stuff in those therapies. You're going to have a good time.

And with that, I'm gonna play the show Housekeeping. And immediately following that, from the

soundtrack of Idle Hands, we'll have the Living End with Second Solution

right after this. If you've decided you can't get enough of the show and would

like. Let me download all of those voicemails we mentioned from Dan last week

and I'm gonna put them at the end of the episode. Do we want to

talk about that? I mean, we might as well listen. All right,

I'll go ahead and I'll take a little bit of heat. I have sent

video to Dan of Millicent in the middle of robot coitus.

Orgy astronomy. Yeah, lots of them too. Like interactions.

And I'm talking about full blown all orgies. I mean,

all robots were involved. It more or less was a gang bang

kind of. Yeah. I mean, she was centered and he was mad.

Of her own volition, she broke it. Here. I.

I just took. I wasn't here. I just took the video from the play.

I just took the video. Right. Surveillance. Yeah. Against. Against my

better wishes as well. I may then have.

When I found out he had left you some voicemails.

Creepy voicemails, but voicemails nonetheless. Well, it was.

He was starting to leave you in the same country verse.

Yeah. He's now started leaving me voicemails threatening me

once again. I'm back in studio, no longer in the bunker because I

realized dan's all of 98 pounds soaking wet.

And if he comes up to me, I'm breaking him in half. I guess we

should probably mention that he's lost a lot of weight because of that illicit drug

use. Yeah, it's getting bad. And I'm. But he looks like Christian

Bale in the Machinist. Yeah, he's all

bones and bad bridge. It is really. It's sweaty. He has a smell to

him like he can't even sneak around anymore. You kind of know he's around.

But I kind of got a little miffed. I had to be in the bunker

last week, so I may have sent really blown up internal

pictures. We talked about that on the commentary we did for Street.

Yeah, I. I apologize. But I did go through with it. Well, I apologize

to you in case you got any more voicemails. Actually, he stopped calling

me. Okay. Then I figured because my phone's been blowing up constantly

with even more threats. And I'm gonna tell you right now. He had

this thing in his head where he was gonna steal me from you. Yeah,

it was really strange. Some of his voicemails to me were telling

me how he's gonna take my most precious thing away, which is you.

Yeah, he has. I don't think he quite understands.

We don't even like each other. No, I like if you stole him

from me, do I have to give you money?

So that was a living end with second solution. Matt's gotta get the fuck

out of here. I just realized what time it was and I was taking up

too much time talking the stories about how I just got my tattoos recently done.

Done a lot about your therapy. Yeah, yeah, definitely. So let's

go ahead and close this out, everybody. I hope you can kick the fuck out

of this week and make it your while you enjoy the band Lion Rock

with the song Rude Boy Rock on the pirate radio.

Dan, I know you're listening to this. If you come at me with this in

person, I'm going to knock you out. Or worse. Or worse. I'm going. You know

what, Dan? I'm going to knock you out and then I'll just throw you into

the same pit that Millicent fell into. Okay, if that's what you want. Dude,

he doesn't even know. That's the weirdest thing. Yeah, she's still alive.

Well, she technically now, but I mean, she was

shifted from the mortal coil for a bit. She was temporarily disposed

of. There you go. That sounds best. Yeah, that sounds bad. Listen,

also the thing I'm pissed about. Is all that plastic and duct tape I had

to waste trying to get rid of her. And then Igor goes and demands to

have her for himself. And you know, but he's doing a lot of good work.

He's taking care of her a lot better than he has Bun Bun. So I'm

happy. We have a really weird thing going on here. We're dealing

with like a soap opera level of drama in a world of mad

science and evil. And I don't like it. I don't either, man. I'm, I'm with

you on that. I just, I don't want to be a part of this.

We're getting it narrowed down. We're getting it taken care of. But Dan, I swear

to God, I'm, I'm gonna, I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna beat the shit

out of you. We have more than enough evidence to put Dan away for a

very long time for this harassment and these threats. I have recordings that

I put out there where he physically threatened Matt's life.

Not much recording in progress right as.

We finish and I turn around. I haven't been paying attention to the Packer

game all day. Yeah, and we were down by two with two seconds left

and we just kicked a field goal. Right as I turned around, almost pissed myself

because I really did have to pee back.

I was like, oh my God. I screamed so loud like a girl.

It sounded like a high pitched whale and I almost peed.

You're good to go though, right? Yeah, let's get our on.

All right, so it's 482 and we gotta get idle hands down.

So let's do it. That. That should be easy. 3. We got.

We got over an hour and a half. Perfect. Three, two,

one.

Sa.

About your therapy. Yeah, yeah, definitely. So let's go

ahead and close this out, everybody. I hope you can kick the out of

this week and make it your bitch while you enjoy the band Lion Rock with

the song Rude Boy Rock on the pirate radio edit. All right. You should recognize

that song from the soundtrack. Yeah, it's great. I should have featured that. And I

gotta get you the out of here, so let's go ahead and do this.

Recording stopped.